The pushing and hustling started way back when I was a pre-teen. I was always hustling for attention, to be liked, to be part of the cool kids and to do everything well to make my parents proud. I was both a people pleaser and perfectionist at heart, even though I said I wasn’t, and put on a pretty big show of “doing what I want,” and not caring about what anyone else thought.

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It was exhausting and left me everything but happy.

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Even when I had to do yoga because that was all my doctor allowed, I picked the hardest yoga I could find. And then I got certified to teach it.

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Yet, somewhere along the way, I stopped working ON THE yoga and let the yoga work on me.

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In 2014 my dad committed suicide. Prior to that I had lost all four grandparents over the course of 18 months and I lost my mom when I was 19.

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Loss had become a major theme in my life.

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I can remember sitting on my back porch on that March day in 2014, waiting to drive to Virginia to handle my dad’s funeral, and realizing that I had so many people in my life that died tragically and also seemed unfulfilled and unhappy in the process. I had the realization that I was headed down that same path. I decided right then that something had to change.

 

I no longer wanted to spend all of my time achieving, accomplishing, constantly proving my worth. And the thing was, everyone that I wanted to prove something to had passed, and I felt more alone than ever. In my grief I discovered what I wanted most was belonging, connection and to simply feel better! 

 

Exactly one year later I quit my very stable, "safe" six-figure job and I taught the first class held in my first yoga studio, Moonshine Power Yoga. I was so proud of myself. I was in love with teaching and I desperately wanted to be successful as a studio owner. I was part of a specific organization and was being the “good yogi” and following the rules and doing everything right. I loved this place and I loved my community, but over time things just didn’t feel right.

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I started to shift away from the rigidity and structure that the organization placed on us. We relocated the studio, I rebranded, I started creating my own teachings and trainings. Things were just starting to fall into place and then the pandemic hit!

 

We closed, permanently.

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That was it for me.

I was done.

I told myself I would never open another studio……

Well here I am, three years later, opening my third iteration.

 

Here is what I now know:

• When you do something for someone else, it never works out, this time around I am doing it my way, in my town, with my wisdom and experience

• Nothing is ever “done” with you, even if you think you are done with it. And yoga was not done with me. I am back and brining it better than ever.

• We need people. We need each other. And we need to move our bodies, yoga does all of that.

• There is no ONE way, there are infinite ways, and staying curious and courageous will lead you to the way that works for you, that is what this place is about.

• I am resilient as fuck and I have never been more clear about what I want to contribute to the world.

• And never say never

 

If this sounds about your speed.

If you are vibing with this.

If you want to pick up what we are laying down here at heart & grit, come on over, all are welcome!